The NICU.

The NICU...

Right before shift change, my night nurse briefly showed me how to use the breast pump that the hospital provided. Then shortly after she introduced me to the day nurse. I don't even remember what this girl's name was because I hardly ever saw her that day. At the time I really didn't care. I wasn't worried about myself. I wanted to see my baby! Once my first dose of antibiotics was in my system I was able to go to the NICU and see my baby. Justin came in and took me to the NICU. He showed me how to scrub and sanitize and then he introduced me to little Amina once again. They had Amina in a warmer and hooked up to an IV machine that gave her the antibiotics. We didn't think that we were allowed to hold her so I didn't stay long. I was tired and needed to go lie back down. When I got to my room the nutrition people had brought in my breakfast. I took about two bites and there was a knock at my door. My family had made it to the hospital!! They sat down and talked with me for a little while. My sister asked me about my labor and delivery experiences. I told her what I could remember (I was heavily medicated, remember?) and then Justin walked in. He told us that the NICU staff had told him that we could take one other person into the NICU with us as long as either Justin or I was with them. So, they all started taking turns going into the NICU to see our baby girl. I guess we were doing it wrong because after about 3 people had had their turn the nurses started to get all sorts of ornery about us having visitors come in. We didn't understand why they were being so rude about it. We were doing exactly what they had told us to do. We only had 2 people at a time and were taking turns. Nobody had held her at this point other than me right after she was born. Not even Justin. And since they made such a big stink about us being in there I figured that they didn't want me in the NICU either. So I kept my space. Eventually my family got hungry and left to go get something to eat. While they were gone, the NICU nurse (Gloria) came into my room with Amina. She said that taking a baby out of the NICU was a big no no but since I was tied down to the IV antibiotics they were able to let it slide this one time. She brought Amina in because she wanted me to try breastfeeding. So she showed me what to do and helped me latch her on a few times. Then after awhile they had to take Amina back to the NICU. When Gloria left she tried to encourage me to use the breast pump and to try to pump as much as possible. I said okay and figured that I would try a little later. Soon after my family came back from lunch and wanted to see the baby again. So Justin took them in one by one again and then nurses threw a fit again. At this point, they hadn't informed us as to why they were throwing such a ridiculous fit, so we just assumed that they were being overly dramatic and honestly we were all a bit offended by their actions. But we kept taking our turns and tried to slow down the traffic flow like they asked. 

Soon it was time for my family to head back to Tehachapi. Justin and I decided to go back to the NICU to be with Amina. I tried to breastfeed her and seemed to be doing fairly well. She would latch on and seemed to be eating. So I didn't really stress about it. But again, as I was leaving the nurses mentioned something about pumping. I didn't understand why everyone was so concerned that I pump. I figured that if the baby cried at night that they would call my room, I could come down and feed her and then go back to bed. But I decided to try to pump just to make everyone happy. I tried for about 20 minutes and got nothing. Not even a drop. I was so upset. If I wasn't getting anything with the pump then what is my baby getting?! Not much, that's what. After this little experience I was so upset with myself and with everyone talking to me about pumping that I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. I didn't want to try it again. I didn't want to be in the hospital anymore. I was exhausted. So Justin and I went to bed and decided to try again in the morning.